What Matters?
in life, in health in death, in wealth? the breadth of our experiences
is tremendous and we do well to remember
this answer will be different for everyone
What matters to you? A patient, or parent a doctor, or nurse the staff who are cleaning or those writing the notes an intern in ward on their very first shift
the gift of a new life
being held in tired arms
the passing of an old life
maybe still with tired arms
What matters to each? Oh how can you tell? Well, you start by just asking
we're so varied in all of our tales - and also in our heads - so finding what matters can't be rushed it takes time instead
The week of the Gathering of Kindness rolled round
and even the incredible Dr Crock abounding in energy couldn't be at all events
there were so many I checked the schedule there were things on at the same hour
Nobody has lent her a time-turner or machine as far as I know - which given she's my Mum is pretty far - but never fear I'm sure next year she'll have sorted that out
So let this be a summary of all that went on messages of kindness in speech and in plays
in dance and in song
you will be amazed to hear the full scope of the hopefulness that was shared
We crossed boundaries
of the state in cities in hearts
sharing stories at Monash, Clayton, VCCC,
welcoming each other at Dandenong and Sale we heard from great speakers all through this week
and I collected some words that connected with me so consider the next verse the intellectual property of Lorraine, David, Di, Nathan, Katie, Belinda, Richard, Rachel, Craig, and Michael times two
all jumbled together
You have to discover how you do kindness best the test will be the impact on those with whom you demonstrate kindness in fact that's the fruit of your kindness
it's not blackberries and apples it's fruit that actually grows our own hearts and our own worlds so that they get big Maybe kindness is a fig?
We are not big fish in a small pond we are not even small fish in a big pond Sometimes
we are small fish in a big fish
Maybe a barramundi?
We're humans not robots and if you need proof you can see it in Sidewalk Tango I'm pretty confident robots can't dance like that
- at least not yet - and that was definitely my grandmother up on the stage
The play is launched
in Wangarratta What Matters?
Kindness and listening
cheerful cleaners
the meanest of doctors has a change of heart it's a start Comedy in the shared experience of ridiculous scenarios without care's appearance
ridiculous
but true for this play is told unfolds through the eyes and the wise stories of those who actually lived these moments
Thank you to Alan Hopgood and team for making the hard things seem a little bit funnier
More than just a play is launched
two books took looks - hopefully onto your shelf! -
Lucy Mayes planned an exposé
that day by day piece by piece
eight years in the making!
became a message of hope heart and healing Beyond the Stethoscope
Taking us through
all sorts of feelings
The Gathering of Kindness Anthology
tells stories from the first event
capturing voices in articles sent in
People were hopeful
happy and sad some jaded or tired but mostly, they were glad.
Glad
that these conversations
could be had
And here's the key! It is infinitely worthwhile to be talking together
whether or not we knew each other before
"All talk and no action" "Talk is cheap" Phrases thrown about like we should keep quiet
We need this talk to feed our brains arrange our thoughts and importantly to grow our skills in changing minds particularly around a misunderstood word
like kindness We need to practice how to talk
and we get better each time
Do you think Slava and Len when they went on stage with their guitars
did so blind? untrained? without practising? Having heard them perform the idea is laughable ten thousand hours and more went into that applause
So too do we need hours of practice if we are to become experts
on kindness
A favourite topic of mine was being kind by breaking rules Those fools!
so busy admiring their top hat
that they can't see their own feet
doing the legwork
down on the street
needing, shoes. Sometimes
you need to put your feet on the table
to be noticed
Kindness in healthcare should not be hard to find yet in amongst the daily grind
we wind up tight and lose sight of the difference between a right
and just 'right'
The folly of policy
that says "Don't touch
don't help
and definitely don't hug don't friend or care or lend don't drive - the patient's survival is what matters -
only treat" which is a mean feat when you take away the kind
We've spent a week speaking on kindness
talking about the things that matter before we all scatter there's one last thing to say:
Celebrate kind acts not kind people give everyone a chance to join the fray this way it's not a kindness monologue it's a kindness conversation we don't talk to we talk with So talk with everyone
That's what matters.
Michelle Phillips - photo by Karen Baker Photographer